Politeness and power in an era of social media

They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Vincent: Don McLean

Decency and politeness are closely related to power.

So-called “rules” around behaviour, dress, and language are often just coercion by another name, enforced by the powerful over the weak. You can’t come in here wearing that. You can’t go to this school if your hair is that long. How dare she not smile.

All attempts at policing people’s behaviours—none more so than women’s bodily autonomy—are predicated on written and unwritten rules about decency, a concept always and everywhere defined and enforced by some sort of ruling class or caste or manager class or board of directors or patriarchy.

Where you can’t actually exclude people from the conversation, demanding certain (and ever-variable) “rules” of politeness is a useful substitute. You can’t participate in this discussion if you use that language. I don’t have to listen to you if you speak like that.

It is a perfect way of blurring the line be…